


How Sherlock Really Lived

by using_this_name



Series: Crackity Crack [78]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack, Drabble, F/M, Humor, M/M, Multi, Orgy, Reaction, Reichenbach Theory, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Sherlock Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 07:43:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1117305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/using_this_name/pseuds/using_this_name
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All the theories put forward in 'The Empty Hearse' are ridiculous.  I mean, who could decide between having kinky roof sex with Moriarty or making out (and then, I assume, having kinky morgue sex) with Molly?  Certainly not Sherlock.</p><p>Here is what really happened...</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Sherlock Really Lived

****Molly:**  ** So, you really are gay?

**Moriarty:**  Yup! For Sherlock at least.

 **Molly:**  I get that.

 **Moriarty:**  But we can make out while he makes the phone call, if you want.

 **Molly:**  Sounds good!

 **Sherlock:**  So then neither of you is going to help me push this very convincing body double off the roof?

 **Moriarty:**  Nah. But Seb will. Seb!

 **Sebastian Moran:**  But I’m busy making out with Mycroft and Lestrade!

 **Moriarty:**  There’s plenty of time for that later. We gotta get this phone call done before we can start the orgy.

 **Sherlock:**  Ugh. Will someone at least start getting my pants off while I talk to John?

 **Anderson:**  Oh! I will!!

 **Sherlock:**  Someone other than Anderson.

 **Anderson:**  Hurtful.

 **Sherlock:**  Whatever.

 **Mrs. Hudson:**  It’s okay, dear. I can—

 **John:**  WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE!

*end flashback*

 **Sherlock:**  Yes? What’s the matter?

 **John:**  I forgave you for not telling me when I thought it was just a few people, but now you’re telling me you HAD AN ORGY WITH EVERYONE WE KNOW WHILE I THOUGHT YOU WERE BLEEDING OUT ON THE SIDEWALK?!?

 **Sherlock:**  But you told me you didn’t want to see Mycroft naked, so I figured…

 **John:**  THAT YOU COULD HAVE AN ORGY WITH EVERYONE WE KNOW WHILE I THOUGHT YOU WERE BLEEDING OUT ON THE SIDEWALK?!?

 **Sherlock:**  In retrospect, it was probably in bad taste.

 **John:**  Yes. Yes it was.  And anyway, who is Sebastian Moran?

 **Sherlock:**  A guy from the books. It is irrelevant. Would it help if I told you that Mary and I have been discussing the possibility of a kinky-yet-adorable threesome with you?

 **John:**  I suppose. But you owe me so many orgasms, Sherlock. So. Many. Orgasms

**Author's Note:**

> If you want updates as they happen, follow me on tumblr, where I am going by using-this-name (with dashes instead of underscores).
> 
> I would also LOVE any prompts that you would like to send me on tumblr. Any pairing, or any trope!


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